I don't wanna sound like a broken record and repeat things i've posted. But i've kinda been slacking and am in the mood to write. I'm just laying in bed looking at my cute little pink laptop screen with a feeling in the pit of my stomach, like a pill in my throat. I wanna cry just for the sake of crying, yet I have nothing to cry about. I don''t like this. Emberlynns first birthday was a week ago and I really need to upload her pictures and make a post about her party. I've been on an honesty kick lately. I've been so honest, and it's bitten me in the butt here and there but I feel awesome. I've also been trying to get people to be totally honest with me, this is a whole other story because if someone was being honest, I wouldn't know it for sure or not. That is what faiths for I guess. I'm trying to get everything ready, everything together, and I feel like It's not happening fast enough, paper work is filled out and sent in but I have no word about finishing results. It's just frusterating, I'm really not a patient person. I want what I want, and my heart isn't taking No as an answer. Stupid heart. Why do you gotta be so vulnerable? Letting him in and shit. What have you gotten me into? A hot mess is what. Ha, I really don't mind being a hot mess, I'm a hot mess on my own without my heart getting all up in my business. Seriously, I am gonna go buy a Soccer Ball, I always feel better while kicking a ball against a hosue over and over. I need some kind of release. Also, I am so tired right now, and I know if I layed my head down and turned off my laptop I'd fall asleep in 2 seconds, but my body is fighting with my mind again. It won't let me lay down, and for this, I'm a little annoyed. Have some self Control Emily, Give your body a run for it's money, saying this I am just realizing that I'm writing to myself in my blog. Hmmm? Interesting. Well after all, I'm just being honest.
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