Alone

Havent written since March, probably cause I don't have time to do anything . Ha. I'm getting a little burnt out but I'm gonna keep goin. I work 9 hours a day 5-6 days a week and am a full time mom. Emberlynns Dad moved out of state so no more every other weekends. Which is Hard on me because those every other weekend was the little bit of social life I had but its even harder on Emberlynn. She is always sayin, " Where dad go?"  I say he moved and will come visit. Hopefully Im not fibbing. It'd be nice to have someone help. I see all these other moms posting about their babies having a sleepover with grandma or hanging out with auntie. and thats how it was for me growing up I was always at one of my grandmas. Or with my aunt or cousins. I feel bad for Emberlynn that she doesnt have that . any time I am in need of a sitter theres no one. no one wants to help. which to me asking once a month for a sitter for 1 night is not a lot at all by any means . sometimes you need a break. It makes me angry really. Then people in my family comment about me being single or suggest where to go to meet people, all I can say is "you have to leave to meet people and none of you help me with a sitter so I never get to leave to meet anyone. get off my back." I just wish Emberlynn got to have a grandma like I did. my favorite memories of growing up are with my grandparents, most kids are. But Ive gotten used to the fact that IM doing this on my own in more ways then one. everyone just needs a break every once in awhile. Not complaining. I love Emberlynn I love having her everyday. but sometimes it would be nice to be able to pee by myself. I think everyone has just forgotten that I am 19 and still young. I need to get out and go on adventures . even if it is once every 4 months.