I would've given you all that I have..

I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I think I know what love is, but I'm starting to wonder if its just that comfort I miss, the not having to do my hair and can just cuddle thing, I miss being used to someone. Lets be honest here, I'm 18 and have had the same boyfriend, now ex, for 5 years. I know no other life. I'm experiencing life to myself, and now my daughter alone for the first time, I'm a little scared, a little excited and a little nervous but I know we'll make it through. Sometimes I feel under apprieciated, like I just want that one person to wake up and realize how much I really do for this world and for my daughter. I want that light bulb to go off over their head and fort them to be like hey, she does make a difference in my world, maybe I should be a little nicer. You see, I want this to happen but don't see it happening, not anytime soon that is. I used to be a simple thinker thinking my crumbling excuse of a relationship would last forever, then I got my own light bulb. Why live my life trying to make something work and be miserable the entire time from it when I could've spent all that time trying to be happy in the first place. I'd be a liar if I said his words don't still get to me, If I said the hurt ful things he says to me don't make me mad and or cry, Would you call me weak? I'd call me human. I've watched women take care of men, women stay with men and these women are miserable, full of regret and just really sad. It takes alot to make them truely happy and their so called happiness is coming from all the wrong places. I don't want to be that woman, searchingher life for happiness, I have happiness, I have a daughter and friends and family who love me and i'm following my path doing what i need to, to make myself my own life. I just wish I could show you this, show you what I'm creating nad I wish you coould see it for its beauty and want to do your part to be apart of it, but you don't. and its time I come to terms with this. I'm on my own, but I'm not alone. I've got people that love me and a baby girl that I can't get enough of.